True Love

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” ESV Ephesians 5:25

The bible has a lot to say about love but the picture that it paints hardly resembles the love embraced by society today. As I think about it, the picture of love that our society paints is actually quite selfish. It is a love that flows from what we can get or enjoy in return. On the other hand, the picture of love painted in scripture is an unselfish, giving love.

Think with me for a moment about gift advertisements you’ve seen lately. It doesn’t much matter what product is being promoted—diamonds, automobiles, even pajamas—the message is the same; buy this special gift for your loved one and in return you’ll get a happy, smiling, content for the moment loved one that showers you with affection because of your thoughtful expenditure. While there is nothing wrong with any of the gifts I’ve mentioned or gift giving in general, we should be careful to examine our motives in gift giving to make sure they’re not self-serving.

Love, as expressed in the bible is never self-serving. On the contrary, biblical love always serves other people. For instance, the gospels recount Christ’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31) Paul commended the Thessalonian church because their love for each other was increasing (2 Thessalonians 1:3) and the Gospel of John most certainly reveals the unselfish nature of biblical love: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) You see, the motive behind biblical love is serving; not self-serving. Biblical love is motivated out of what you can do for the other person, not what you can get in return.

So true love (biblical love) is perhaps best manifested not in occasional gifts, but in everyday service to loved ones. Getting up on a cold dreary morning for hard day of work can be an expression of love—serving family and others in your vocation. Getting up early to turn up the thermostat or stoke the fire can be a gift of love. Ironing an outfit before work or school can express your love. Simply listening to your spouse and children can be an expression of your love towards them. Even putting peanut butter on both sides of a sandwich so the jelly doesn’t soak through can be an act of love!

Sometimes it is the simplest things that best express biblical love. And simple, giving, serving, biblical love eventually develops into a love for which you would even sacrifice yourself for your loved ones just as Christ gave himself for the church. As a matter of fact, it’s a command, not a request.

This Valentine’s Day (even if you buy a gift for the holiday) why don’t you commit to expressing love to others year round in a serving, ongoing way without regard to what you’ll get in return just as Christ loved the church?